A house a home part 3: A lesson learned

No pictures this post...check back tomorrow for those:)

To conclude my past two posts; we are still buying G and G's house (as long as ours sells) but we are a little delayed in listing and here is why:

Senior Care is quite a complex reality but it can basically be summed up into two categories:
1. Independent living
2. Assisted living

G and G fall into the first category. As we began to look at independent living facilities we had no idea there would be such limited housing available. Long waiting lists for patio homes (which is what Grandma would prefer) and large non refundable entry fees at some of the facilities. Some truly promote your Independence while others do all the every day tasks for them, like cooking and cleaning.

The places that do everything for them, felt more like nursing care and as grandma put it "I don't want to be around all these old people because they make me feel old!"

One of the first places we toured did not have kitchens in their apartments. They had three large meals in their dinning hall. As we sat there eating no one was smiling and I had to fight back all my tears trying to picture G and G living there. When we told the other family members their reaction was the same as ours; there is no way Grandma would be Grandma with out a stove! Such a simple thing but something that defines who she is. Where would we get our weekly banana bread and marble squares? I am only joking but baking is something she truly enjoys.

Soapbox moment:
Having done hours of research, talking to people in the field and visiting 5 of these places;  I can tell you there is not enough care for our seniors. There are some great places and some really not so great places. And though our parents are still functioning just fine this will be something we all have to think about someday and something our kids will have to think about. Long term health insurance is a huge benefit if you can get it. This will allow hospice or long term nursing care in your home for minimal cost when and if they need it. MOST ASSISTED LIVING FACILITIES  DO NOT TAKE IT!

I can also tell you that if you start this process do your research! Stop by the places unannounced or make a lunch appointment to eat with some of the residents there because everyone of of these places is trying to SELL you on how lovely their facility is. There is always fine print and some of it is pretty deceiving. We have to be a culture that starts advocating for and taking care of our seniors....they are such a knowledgeable and unique generation.

OK I have stepped off of the soapbox now:

Luckily for us G and G are still capable to make decisions.  I am so proud of the two of them because even though this has been a really hard decision to make, they are doing it while they still can, not leaving it to their kids and grand kids to have to make.

We have narrowed our search down to two places that will promote G and G to live and feel independent; cook for themselves, clean, garden, join in activities if they choose or just be as they always have been, independent. They will be with-in three miles of us. We have placed them on a waiting list for a patio home knowing that they may have to do some apartment living in the meantime, which is their decision completely. And as of now we will list our house in June but as I say often "its always in God's Hands."

 The Little Boy and the Old Man by Shel Silverstein

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."

Said the old man, "I do that too."

The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."

I do that too," laughed the little old man.

Said the little boy, "I often cry."

The old man nodded, "So do I."

But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems

Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."

And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.

I know what you mean," said the little old man."