A little bit of the Mom funk

Every now and than I escape for 15 minutes or so and drive to pick up dinner or go and get my hair cut (that's a few hour escape) and I feel like I find a little piece of a girl that I use to know. The girl before I had kids. Trust me I love being a Mom, best job I've ever had but I would be lying if I said driving down the road with the windows rolled down and my stereo turned up didn't make me miss a part of my life I use to have. The freedom, the go go go, the independence and selfishness.

Really though when I think about it, that girl doesn't exists anymore. That girl left. That selfish part of me grieved in the first weeks of bringing Mason home and was no where to be seen by the time Max came home.

Most days I feel like a strong confident woman.

But every now and than I get a bit of the Mom funk. That I am sick of wearing my hair in a braid or a bun, the minimal makeup if any, the attempt at putting on clothes that don't make me look like a slob.


I think I need to find a little bit of that girl from my 20's again and the main reason is my weight. I've never been the skinny girl but I have been thin. I have been healthy and before I got pregnant with Max I felt that little bit of me coming back.  I have had the hardest time loosing the baby weight this time. I am breastfeeding exclusively, haven't even used my pump in months. I am hungry. I am making good food decisions, I am making too many of them. I am carrying a 20-lb baby around everyday and trying to take walks and do weight lifting when I can find 30 minutes. The scale is not budging. I am frustrated.  Every camp has a different message. Do Atkins, Don't diet while breastfeeding, Do Paleo, Weight watchers, just work out...and than there's all the beautiful mothers I know who are stick skinny and can't eat enough to keep weight on. When did I become the fat girl?

Its summer and its time to figure this thing out.

The golden months of babyhood: months six and seven

Life is moving along at a brisk but enjoyable pace. Max just began his eighth month but for record purposes here is a little re-cap of months six and seven. 

 

Month six.

Mastering sitting opens your world up to more adventure. Your big brother pushing you in a swing is just that, an adventure.

 

I'm pretty sure you have outgrown all of the clothing items in this picture.

Your first Easter.

Your mesmerized by your big brother. I often am too. That kids a kick.

You love to "tell a good story" lots of BA BA BA's and Da Da Da's with an occasional Ma.

Your interest in the world opens daily but you still like the warmth of a familiar lap.

or the arms of a special Aunt.

 

Seven Months.

I am able to leave you on the floor with some toys and your brother. This last about 20+ minutes and gives my back a break from your nearly 20lbs.

I am not sure what I would do without our ergo. We love that thing.

This is us with the flu. We managed to miss most of flu season but it finally caught us. You spent quite a few days in the ergo. You are not much of a crier but those days you were. I hurt and knew you hurt which made me hurt more. Do you follow?

But with lots of sleep we are back to our usual. You are a sleeper.  Here's the thing; you have never slept in your crib. OK maybe once for five minutes because you were so tired your eyes forced themselves shut. Your sleep comes via my arms or the ergo and I love it. I get a lot of flack about this but I know this phase too shall pass. If he is still in my arms at 17 than things got weird and people should feel free to intervene.

We have been spending a lot of time outside as the weather warms up. You love it. You also like to eat grass so we have to keep a close eye on you. 

You are getting close to crawling. There is constant rocking and yoga moves in order to get to the toys we have strategically placed just out of reach. Dad has you in "crawling boot camp" to try and offset my attachment parenting. It seems to be working.

While I cook or clean, you manage to get across our kitchen and into the cupboards. You love to remove all the contents and throw them around. Its the best kind of noise.

I would describe your personality as "quite the ham!"

 

Good gravy we are so in love with you.

Eight months old and starting to pull your self up on anything you can. Oh we remember what that leads too. Looks like its going to be a busy summer, I better get some new tennis shoes.