Cold Turkey

This is one of those things I am not proud of as a mom. One of those things that I have sat in judgement by friends, the pediatrician, and all those books I read about parenting, one of those things that I know could ruin his baby teeth...but still I do did it. Putting Mason to bed with a bottle...there I said it. I know its not like I am handing him crack cocaine but it is something I feel a lot of guilt about. His bottle is his crutch, its our crutch! A sleep mechanism which allowed us the path of least resistance to get SLEEP! Something I did not have a lot of his first 9 months and now bask in almost every night.

We have been talking about kicking his habit for the past months always coming up with some reason we didn't want to commit.

This is how my afternoon went: pick Mason up from Marilyn around 4:30 and she tells me he is kind of grumpy today...well I have nothing for dinner so a late afternoon grocery store run is a must...this  resulted in a uber tantrum over Elmo canned soup which he threw out of the cart and I promptly took away...at home the grocery store trip from hell was put to shame by incomprehensible tears, screaming and flailing at the dinner table because we would not turn on the TV to watch Elmo Potty Time for the 400th time this week...we decided it was bed time.

We did put him down with a bottle, which was thrown at the wall after being finished with a request for "more baba" and "I want out"...we did not refill the bottle and he did not get out, we just decided "No time like the present." Wow I sound like I am bragging but really I am just insane!

So here I am an hour after listening to Mason scream and cry "Mama" and "Dada". After going in every 10 minutes to lay him back down while dodging his favorite lovies being chucked at us...it is quiet...and I am sobbing. Every cell in my being hurts because I wanted to give in so bad to him. To make his pain go away but I knew I couldn't, that and Matt wouldn't let me.

 I know there are much bigger problems in the world than my current parenting dilemma, that I will laughg about this one day, and that really this is part of being a parent but for now our little Team Entrada world feels spun around...today is a start...please wish me luck for tomorrow, my enforcer will be at work!